I have spent so much time trying to defend marriage that I don't have time to write about defending marriage. There are so many marriages going down in flames right now that it is hard to keep up. Most of the ones that I know of, I am not close enough to the couple to really say anything directly. It is often a mutual friend who contacts me asking, "What do I do?" It is frequently the same problems over and over: Boredom, infidelity, pornography, and just plain selfishness. Those problems have always existed, yet before contraception they didn't lead to divorce like they do now. What I find more than anything is people who constantly argue, "It isn't because of contraception!"
This statement makes me more nuts than any other. They are so sure it isn't contraception, yet they really don't know what it is otherwise. They are just sure it isn't contraception. The numbers prove otherwise, yet they don't want to hear it. They just want to continue to believe the lies. It is so frustrating.
Yet, I can see where they are coming from. Contraception masks so many things that it is hard to reveal. They complain about communication, yet they communicate a contraceptive lie with their bodies. But they never know that. They complain that their sex life is non-existent or boring, the very things they were told that contraception would cure. They have no idea that it made their problems worse not better. There is nothing more exciting than discovering that today is THE day, either because you are fertile and want to be, or infertile and want to be. As one NFP teacher says, "I never knew I could become sexually aroused looking at my wife's thermometer."
The problem with contraception is it is a silent killer. It sneaks up and destroys the marriage without ever being identified. It is a murder and the survivors never learn the weapon or date of death. All they know is that a marriage they hoped would last forever, is now cold and dead. Contraception was the unnamed killer. We have to stop it.
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