About 18 years ago the younger sister of a friend called me from a nearby town. She was looking for a phone number. This was pre-internet days where, to find a phone number you needed an actual phone book for the area you wanted, or you paid money to call information. She was going to be in my city and needed to make an appointment. I said I was happy to help. And I did. And that moment was the beginning of a wake up call for me.
She needed the number to Planned Parenthood. I even said, "you realize you are asking a Catholic for this don't you?" Her answer was that it wasn't for an abortion, but for her "annual." She told me that it was a cheap place that she could get her "Pills." She told me, "well, they won't give me my birth control Pills without an exam, but it isn't a real exam anyway. They just do the basics and give me my pills. It's cheap and all I need is not to get pregnant again" (At the time she had no children that I knew of, so the "again" stood out.) I remember such detail about the call because it was such a moment of tragedy for my personal failure. I didn't even really know at the time what my own Church taught about contraception. She knew I was against abortion so her telling me she was getting contraception was supposed to ease my mind, I guess.
At the time it did. At the time I really believed that better access to contraception was going to prevent abortion. I didn't even realize that the Catholic Church was already teaching that contraception leads to more abortion, not less. I really thought that more STD tests meant that more people were finally getting tested, not that it meant more people were getting the diseases. I actually started to think that clinics like Planned Parenthood were doing some good. I thought they were helping the poor.
But this gal was 17 at the time. She was living on her own. We lost touch for many years. I eventually found out that her contraception had failed, yet again. And she had been with a man who showed her no respect. I would always think back to that phone call. What if I had known then what I know now? What if I had told her then that she deserved better than what contraception had to offer? What if I had had the courage to say, "How about I pay to take you to a real clinic and get you a real exam and real education about healthy sexuality? You deserve to be treated better than 'cheap' care." What a difference might that have made in her life? But instead, I left her in the hands of Planned Parenthood because, "at least she's not going there for an abortion."
I am speaking up now. I won't stop until every woman knows she deserves better.
No comments:
Post a Comment