Wednesday, November 14, 2012

I'm Fertile.

YAY!! But we have been called to a small family. Boo. But we are both on board with that, so abstaining hasn't been a problem. Yay! Yeah. Abstaining hasn't been a problem. Boo.

NFP, health problems, and us. I ache so badly sometimes that I can't feel my lower extremities. Hard to feel aroused, when numbness is more common. So. How do I overcome that? I take pain pills I don't like, but help me function. I go to a doctor every two months and poas. That's "pee on a stick" for those not in the know. But the stick I pee on is not to check for hormones. It is to check that I don't have too much of the pain drugs in my system to show I am not overdosing, and enough in my system that I am not selling them. Careful balance there. (Don't worry criminals, getting to the drugs is tough. I am always home. And armed.) It is a gift to have this type of pain management available. I can't fathom the level of pain people dealt with when they still thought chronic fatigue was a "fake illness."

Being called to a small family probably hurts more. I wanted a bunch of children so I would never know who was the "baby," so I would never raise her as one. (I am the family baby, and I have issues.) I wanted a bunch of kids who entertained each other and helped each other laugh. Instead I have 2. They are enough to be a conspiracy all on their own, though. They make each other laugh, and also scream and fight. I missed the parent memo that an older brother would lick his sister's upper arm just to annoy her, and then claim, "I just breathed on her." Um. Ew? What are we? Cats? Yuck. "Spit that thing out. You don't know where its been!" (Points if you get the Ice Age reference.)

I wanted a lot of kids. I wanted to be Fertile Myrtle. I also wanted to be healthy and conquer the world. Didn't work out that way. God always has other plans. I have a younger friend with 4 children who sometimes feels intimidated going in public and dealing with the comments. (Don't you have a TV?) She is shy and reserved, while I would have loved to answer with my favorite all-time quip that I picked up somewhere online, "Sir. If you think TV is better than sex, you're doing it wrong." But, God had other plans for most of us.

I wonder if there is anything good on TV tonight?